I didn’t believe in epiphanies until I had one.

I’ve always heard of people having epiphanies, but I didn’t believe any of them until May 25, 2017.

Epiphany: a moment of sudden revelation or thought

il_340x270.1184730166_s6i8

For two years I was employed by a Fortune 500 company. Top 50 to be exact. It was my first full-time job after I spent about a year draining every ounce of energy I had with 2 jobs. I was excited. No, that’s an understatement. And a company this large?! How did I land this job and pass multiple background checks?!

I mean…not like I had anything to hide. It’s just always nerve racking – like having a police officer drive behind you or walking through those retail store alert things even though you are completely innocent.

pexels-photo-37724

Anyways, after going through 3 absolutely horrible managers within a year, I decided to take a leave of absence. I was so unhappy and my anxiety was through the roof. 6 weeks later, management changed AGAIN. This time it was in my [& all the other employees’] favor. I immediately came back to work. I was happy………….was.

Everyone has that one coworker that just absolutely has it out for you, right? Maybe it’s just me.

I didn’t realize the extent of my depression and anxiety until the issues with this lady started. Leaving out the emotional details…relationships in my life outside of work started to become rocky because of my attitude about life.

Until one day….

I was done. I was finished. It was time that I take back my happiness. It was time to do something for ME…. GET OUT NOW.

black-and-white-woman-girl-sitting

I didn’t have other employment lined up. I wasn’t financially sound. I had savings that could last a couple months, but eventually I would need something. I had no plan except to leave.

I gave my 3-week notice on May 25, 2017. I gave 3 weeks for a couple of reasons:

  • I genuinely liked my manager; we got along really well
  • A new-hire background check & interviews could not be done within 2 weeks
  • I felt bad about leaving without another employee in place [it was much needed]
  • It was hard to actually quit without another plan in place; my anxiety was crazy

And then something else happened. Like it was destined to be.

My family was handed a great business from my grandparents who decided to retire.

il_340x270.1184730166_s6i8

They needed help! Yes, you heard me correctly!

BUT on the condition that I had to take a cut in hours, therefore taking a cut in my monthly income.

I started in August. A completely new business. A completely new area. And I was in no way an expert in the field.

You know what though?? I am happier.

smilies-bank-sit-rest-160739

I can’t afford needlessly spending money on cosmetics, home décor, & clothes anymore, but I can still live comfortably.

I am not struggling. I am not constantly unhappy. I am not anxious. I am comfortable.

In the end, I’m thankful for that.

My sincerest appreciation to you for taking the time to read my entry/entries. If I can incite happiness and/or hope in just 1 person’s life, that is enough. There is a stigma against mental illness. That it has a certain face or feature. It doesn’t. 

xoxo

Allison/AllyNik

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: