Is it failure or compromise?

I feel as though I’ve taken on too much and I’m at the point of tipping.

But isn’t that just an excuse for not trying?


This year is coming to an end, and quickly. Let me recap 2017

  • Work full-time in an industry I despise
  • Commute 90 minutes DAILY each way for work (until I quit in April)
  • Move out on my own
  • Break down multiple times at work and eventually quit
  • Go to school full-time all year around (yes, Summer too)
  • Family offered to employ me; don’t know the first thing about the industry
  • Take charge of marketing & social media for the company
  • Change medications and/or regimen more times than I can count
  • Shopping addiction
  • Daily anxiety
  • Health issues

So…I guess it is pretty safe to say that this year has been quite the rollercoaster. Don’t get me wrong, not everything was bad…But stress can be in a good form too (like a new job).


I started the current semester with 4 classes (13 units). Due to a surgery (oh yeah! I forgot to add that to the list above!) and issues with my stomach, I missed too much of 1 class and withdrew from it.

2 of my classes are condensed classes, basically extra extra stressful, and those started 5 weeks ago.

I’m not understanding one of the classes, it’s a subject that I have never fully grasped, American Govt. It’s incredibly frustrating.

I don’t need this class for my degree, I just figured it would be good to take it.

Now, withdrawing from a class does NOT hit my GPA, according to my school. But where it does hit, is my brain.


Dropping one class… brain can rationalize that. But two?

Now I’m bordering on defining myself as a failure.

And possibly even stupid…How can I not understand my own country’s government?

I might as well get out my thesaurus and look up the words that I’ve never even seen before and trace them back to a word that is at, like, elementary school level that I can understand.

I don’t understand. Am I compromising with all my anxiety and stress? Am I taking the easy way out? Am I a failure for giving up?

It’s difficult to be rational.




My sincerest appreciation to you for taking the time to read my entry/entries. If I can incite happiness and/or hope in just 1 person’s life, that is enough. There is a stigma against mental illness. That it has a certain face or feature. It doesn’t. 



2 Replies to “Is it failure or compromise?”

  1. Dropping more than one class does not make you a failure. In this case, it means you chose the wrong class when you scheduled.

    You’ve had an amazing year, full of ups and downs. I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store.

  2. I give you major props for knowing you struggle with American Govt and still choosing to take it! While I love school and usually do well in it, I feel like I hit a mind block when it comes to certain subjects like government, political science, etc. as well. Love your posts, Allison!!

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