My mind isn’t as quiet as I have been today.

I can probably attribute my mood drag to my medication, or lack thereof, last night. I had to get it refilled today.
But I was like this before I missed the dose, so how does that work?

4_1I have had so much race through my head that I don’t even know how to comprehend it, let alone talk about it. I’ve just been sitting on it.

It’s funny how we all say “money doesn’t buy happiness,” yet here I am wondering how I’m going to pay for my medical insurance that I am behind on before it becomes canceled.
And that’s where it started…money.

Sure, I’m happy without material possessions and other things that money can buy. But bills are a different story.

I’m heartbroken…
I need to put in more hours of work to catch up on debt. Do you know what that means?
To be realistic…I don’t think I can do this coming semester of school. I’d like to think I can take on 5 classes while working a 50-hour work week, but c’mon. I’m not super woman.

This kills me. I love school. I don’t want to put my degree off even longer.

I can’t even begin to explain how much of a failure I feel like right now.
Like, its just nagging me right now…

“Failure.”


“FAILURE”

“failure.”

This is the hardest thing to accept. I cannot commit to school this semester.

 

 

xoxo
Allison/AllyNikk

One Reply to “My mind isn’t as quiet as I have been today.”

  1. You’re not putting anything off. You certainly are not a failure. You’d like to enjoy that degree, right? Do you want to kill yourself trying to earn it? I doubt that. It’s OK to say, “I need a break.” It’s OK to lighten your load. You don’t need to finish everything RIGHT NOW. You’re only a failure if you quit, and I don’t see you doing that.

    Remember, self-care is important. If it takes you a little longer to earn your degree, so be it, but the day will come. I have faith in you!

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