Ever feel like you’re invisible, even to family?

I write this as I sit here at work, angry.
I’ve only recently noticed my anger problems within the last couple of years. I’ve read that it can be a way in which I process my anxiety. I think there’s some truth to that.

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So….about the title of this post…

My dad turns 50 in a little over two weeks. That’s a pretty big birthday, right? I mean, you’re half of a century old! And 5 years after that, you qualify for AARP! (Lol)

A little about my dad:
He owns his own business restoring ’55, ’56, and ’57 Chevys. He loves it and is absolutely amazing at his job.
My brother, who is 23, works alongside my dad every day.

My brother had this amazing birthday surprise idea: Reserve a Lamborghini for a couple hours for my dad to drive and race around a track. PERFECT IDEA for my dad. Like, I cannot think of anything better than that.

WELL…
This is in Las Vegas. My brother booked his room and another room for my dad & stepmom a couple weeks ago.
Everyone forgot to tell me…

Guess what?
The hotel that he reserved at, The Golden Nugget, is about $300 per night on the planned dates.
I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it.
Not to mention the travel costs to get there and back.

See, it’d be no problem usually.
I am 2 months behind on medical insurance. On the edge of it being canceled. I can’t function without my medications. Medical insurance, for me, is probably the most important thing to keep current.

So…literally all my money that I make this week (I’ll end up working 40-45 hours) will be going towards my medical insurance so I can be up to date.

I can’t even afford 1 day at this hotel.

 

My dad is my rock. He is the reason why I am still alive today. He is the reason that I try to be a better person every day. He is my greatest role model. He is the reason why I have “Stay Positive” tattooed on my arm.
This is becoming extremely difficult to write, but I had to get it out. I can’t sit here alone in my office at work and ponder all of this. Some people may think it’s not such a big deal. What I have to say to that is…
You really just don’t understand, and can’t unless you’re in my shoes.

 

Thanks for reading this sappy ass post.

 

xoxo
Allison/AllyNikk

2 Replies to “Ever feel like you’re invisible, even to family?”

  1. I’m sorry you are going through this. I have always had anger issues due to childhood, but found out later when it got worse, that it was depression the whole time. Yes, I do believe your medication and health is a top priority and maybe your family will help you out, but I don’t know them. Depression and anxiety are very difficult to go through especially on the bad days. Just remember, this day will pass. I hope your day gets better!

  2. I understand why you were upset about this. I would have reacted the same way you did. I’m glad you were able to come to terms with your family. It’s hard for us to see the emotional spectrum sometimes. We just see black and white. I hope you’re able to have fun in Vegas with your family.

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