UPDATE | Mercury in Retrograde

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My 100 Days posts have been very choppy lately and, for that, I apologize. So I figure maybe an update is needed. Maybe not. Either way, it would probably be best for me to talk about these things, whether anyone listens/reads it or not.

I’ve been reading a lot about astrology lately and even discovered my birth chart! I’ve learned what “Houses” are and that your Sun sign isn’t the only zodiac sign that’s important. I know very little still, so my explanations are probably still very elementary. I’ve, also, come to learn what “Mercury in Retrograde” means.

“Three, and sometimes four, times a year, the planet Mercury appears to be moving backward in the sky for a period of approximately 3 weeks. “Appears” is the key word here, because, technically speaking, no planet actually moves backward in their orbits around the Sun. In fact, they don’t even slow down. Retrograde-station-direct cycles are essentially illusions that result from our point of view from Earth, simply because the Earth is also orbiting the Sun at a different speed than the other planets. Mercury turns retrograde more frequently than any other planet. It can never be more than 28 degrees from the Sun, and whenever it reaches its furthest distance from the Sun, it changes direction.”

Ignorantly, I had no idea that it dealt with the planet Mercury. Duh! I am a Virgo, as well as a Mercury-ruled Virgo native.

Moon in Capricorn
Venus in Libra
Mars in Gemini
Jupiter in Virgo
Saturn in Aquarius
Uranus in Capricorn
Neptune in Capricorn
Pluto in Scorpio
…these are my other planets, just in case you’re into Astrology too!

Anyways, this retrograde cycle is said to effect Mercury-ruled Virgo natives and Mercury-ruled Gemini natives the most. So I blame my mess on this!

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PROBLEM 1

If you follow me on Twitter, where I am more active, you might have noticed the extra negativity this past weekend. After things started looking up in my relationship for the better part of the week, I woke up one morning to the smell of whiskey or some really strong liquor. Tsk, tsk…the boyfriend.

I’m sure you’re thinking “It’s just alcohol, Allison, why do you care so much. Just let him do what he wants.” Well, that wasn’t really the point. The point was that I was promised that it wouldn’t happen again, after I had found hidden alcohol bottles. Dishonesty and broken promises are a problem for me. This was also the, like, fifth time that I had found hidden alcohol. Seriously? So, I was adamant…I’m going to move out. No more ifs, ands, or buts.

Now it’s the awkward phase of still living in the same place, but not really being together. UGH!

PROBLEM 2

Late last week, I was driving to work from the gas station which is, literally, on the same block. As I’m pulling into the parking lot, my steering wheel suddenly gets locked and I’m heading for a tree. It took everything in me to turn my steering wheel enough to go up into the parking lot entrance instead of up the tree. As if that wasn’t enough. My car dies, just like that, pffffttttttttttt! My car had just enough momentum left to pull halfway into a parking spot while simultaneously blocking half of the parking lot entrance. I immediately knew it wasn’t my battery and, obviously, not a lack of gas because I had just come from a gas station. I call Triple A to ask for a tow truck because I am clueless as to what it could be.

Side-note: I come from a family of car mechanics so I know some things about cars.

After calling my dad, who had just worked on my car the weekend before, he was clueless as well, just judging by my description of the issues. I guess it is worth mentioning that I got my car from CarMax in excellent condition less than 2 years ago. Well, now my car needs to be towed to Mazda.

It takes until the following day, Friday, for the mechanics to figure out what had happened.

The water pump failed, which usually keeps the coolant running properly. The coolant leaked into and throughout the engine. Eventually, the coolant mixed with the engine oil. Damage throughout the engine is unknown, but it is recommended that I just get an engine replacement. If they, instead, take the engine apart to see the amount of damage, it will end in a lot of labor costs and, still, I might need an engine replacement after that. I’d rather just pay for one rather than take a chance and end up paying for both. At this very moment, I am waiting on an inspector from CarMax to process things with Mazda because…………wait for it………………my car is still under the CarMax extended warranty!!!!!! (most likely; don’t want to curse it though!)

Honestly, it’s unbelievable to realize how much you actually use a car and how we take advantage of this small luxury of quick transportation. It is such a weird feeling to not have a car!

On top of these two main issues that I am facing, I am also having major anxiety and stress from the broken relationship. I feel like a terrible person. He doesn’t want this to end. I’ve just given so many chances and I don’t have it in me anymore to always worry about honesty. So it’s a constant internal struggle between “okay let’s try again, I’m sure he’s learned the lesson” and “this isn’t healthy for me and I need to move on.” We’ve gone through this many times, though. It needs to stop.

Okay, I keep rambling about it, I’m sorry! My anxiety is so crazy lately!

Well, there’s your update. I will be getting back on track within the next couple of days with my planners, bullet journal, gratitude journal, and 100 Days.

xoxo
AllyNikk/Allison

2 Replies to “UPDATE | Mercury in Retrograde”

  1. As much as I love reading your posts, don’t sweat it so much. Take care of yourself. We’re here. I can’t speak for anything else, but I’m not going anywhere. You don’t need the added stress of posting blogs. If you need us, we’re here for you. And if you need to blog to express what’s going on, I’ll always read it. But the most important thing is making sure you’re OK.

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