Practicality

Practical: “mindful of the results, usefulness, advantages or disadvantages, etc. of action or procedure.”

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Nowadays, I often find myself wondering about time. Usually, it is because it’s already Wednesday in April and I still feel like I’m in February. I find myself thinking about how much time I’ve wasted and how much time I’m wasting while thinking about the time I’ve wasted.

“Tomorrow, I’ll start.”

“A nap sounds better than writing in my journal.”

“Just one more episode on Netflix and then I’ll do it.”

I am so guilty of these thoughts.

So, why do I question time and then do absolutely nothing? Easy. I’m not being practical. I’m don’t have confidence. I focus too much on the stuff that doesn’t matter and on the people who don’t matter.

As a person, I am easily influenced by the people that surround me. Some days I dream of taking my mom’s business. Other days, I want to be an FBI agent or a private investigator.

Let’s get real. I’m no Jessica Jones.

These things aren’t impossible. They are actually very possible (excluding Jessica Jones’ strength) with the proper training and execution. But are these practical for the life I’m living?

Most likely, they aren’t. That’s hard to face for me. I want to be a super hero! I want to do everything!

So I fill myself with crime fighting Netflix shows and creative YouTube videos to vicariously live through. Imagination, that’s all it is.

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What is practical for me is to continue my studies down the path that I’ve already started on. While it is never too late to start something new, I have invested so much time and money into school that the value of my neuroscience education far outweighs my desire to fight crime. I wish I could do many different things for a career all at once, but that isn’t practical or realistic for me.

I have a plan for my path in medical & science and, I never thought I’d say this but, I’m so excited! And I’m good at it.

It isn’t practical for me to lie there on a nightly basis, watching criminal investigation shows and imagining that I am there or imagining that I can be good at that. It won’t get me anywhere except to the doctor because I’ll eventually be 500 pounds from doing nothing and eating everything.

Doing. I need to be doing things that will lead me to the success that I so desperately want. I need to stop expecting things to come in my direction or expecting things to come without some sort of challenge. To learn from my failures, I need to blame myself and stop blaming others. I need to stop thinking that a romantic partner will suddenly change my life, hand me the life I want, and keep me motivated. The only thing that could possibly motivate me to execute a plan is me.

I will take responsibility for my life from now on.

xoxo
AllyNikk/Allison

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