The mythical phoenix symbolizes renewal, resurrection, and that the end is only the beginning. After living for hundreds of years, the phoenix will die by bursting into flames, crumbling into ashes. From those ashes rises a young and powerful phoenix to live for hundreds of years only to go through the cycle over and over again.
To be honest, I’ve never felt more like myself than I do now. In the back of my mind was a timeline of how I should be living. I didn’t want to be single at nearly 26 years old; I wanted to be planning my wedding to the man of my dreams.
I’ve tossed that timeline from my mind now.
I’ve fully accepted the completely different lifestyle that I have now. I have more ambition and more energy now that I’m not devoted to the anxiety of a relationship or what comes with a relationship. I’m building my own business and my own website that I am extremely dedicated to. I have time for school, as well as having a very flexible schedule to take the classes that I need. I feel like I can completely be myself and be expressive of my wants and goals in life without thinking that another person considers it ridiculous.
I now embrace the fact that I absolutely love reading books and watching videos about the brain and neuroscience! Like, I’m not embarrassed by how much I love this stuff anymore! It’s such an amazing feeling.
I, also, don’t feel trapped in California anymore. I don’t feel the guilt of trying to convince my significant other to move out of the country, let alone the state. Now, I can just do it. And I’m going to. I have my passport appointment in 2 weeks, then my next step is visiting Canada to look around!! That makes me so excited just thinking about it!!! My goal is to visit Canada before the Winter really kicks in, so by October or November. From there, if I love the visit, I will plan my savings and prepare my papers; if I’m not liking it too much, I’ll make another visit to look around some different cities until I find a place that takes my heart.
I don’t know what happened, but everything is feeling so right! The ending of this 4 year chapter of my life is only the beginning of something greater!