My Health is Effecting Every Aspect of My Life

blur-chart-check-up-415779.jpg

Simply put, one specific health issue [that I’ve had as far back as I can remember] is ruining my life. No exaggerations here.

I’ve only just found a community of people with this same rare issue within the last year. Before I found this community, I thought I was just weird.

Well, I am weird, but in a different way!

The times where I’ve brought it up to my doctor, she didn’t seem to even try and help me. It’s almost as if she didn’t believe me, which I have found extremely common with this rare problem. I read stories within this Reddit community of people whose family members laugh at them because they think they’re making some stuff up or its “just in their heads”. I’ve read about people being treated for mental health issues instead because they’re doctor didn’t believe them. After all, if a doctor doesn’t believe you, the disorder must not exist, right?!

I won’t get into too many details, but here is what I am 100% certain about having, along with a group of others. I have a muscle dysfunction in my esophagus. Because of where this is, drinking any liquids and eating anything can effect me in a major way. Most times, I am unable to do anything except lie down until I feel better. If I continue going about my day regularly, it becomes extremely painful in my chest and my throat will feel like I have a hole burning through it by acid. If I still continue to ignore it, I’ll throw up and the pain will cause me to lie in the fetal position, usually until I fall asleep. There is more that goes into this, but I’m going to keep the details minimum because it can become embarrassing.

Some of you know that I’ve been doing 12 units in school, which is considered full time. I also work as much as I can and am building my own business, or at least trying to. School has only been in session for 2 weeks and I’ve already missed at least 1 day of each class. Each class is usually twice per week, one of my classes only meets once per week. You can imagine how behind I can get if I miss 1 class session. This is killing me. I’m becoming depressed, not wanting to get out of bed because I know I won’t be feeling too good shortly after eating anything and I’ll end up just coming back to lie down in bed. I’m trying my hardest not to give up in school and drop my classes, which I’ve done at least once (sometimes more) every semester. I want to succeed so badly but the pain is just too much to sit through and ignore. I’m constantly have anxiety about this, which makes it so much worse. I can’t sit and do my homework or study for long periods of time without needing to lie down and take a break or just stop studying altogether. I stopped being social and going out with anyone because I can’t be out for a long time and I’m usually needing to leave abruptly. So now, I just don’t even put myself in those types of situations anymore. I can’t disappoint myself or anyone else if I don’t go out at all.

During the last 5 years, it has gotten much worse. I never used to be in so much pain; I just felt uncomfortable. Regardless, I am still at a loss for help. There are few articles on this dysfunction and very minimal research. There is 1 potential “cure”, but the procedure is done by very few doctors in the country. The most promising doctor is in Chicago, IL but I don’t exactly have extra money to spend. Because there is very little research and most doctors don’t even know about this dysfunction, insurance doesn’t usually cover it. I believe some do, but I of course have the insurance that most likely will not cover the procedure, even if I did have the funds.

However, there is a potential solution that I could do myself. As someone who has had issues with eating disorders in the past, this “solution’ probably isn’t the best idea. But I’ve grown desperate and have nothing to lose; I’ll take my chances.

Thanks for reading this. It really isn’t easy to post because 99% of people don’t believe me.

xoxo
AllyNikk/Allison

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: