Flashback through January

january scrabble
Photo by Plush Design Studio on Pexels.com

January can be difficult. With the new year, new resolutions, cold weather, and the college semester starting, January can easily become overwhelming. Luckily, for me, I adapt rather quickly to new surroundings & circumstances, and I love the cold weather and Winter!

background blur clean clear
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Through January, California was [and still is] being hit with a lot of rain. In my opinion, we desperately need it, although the drought isn’t as bad as it was 3 years ago. I love the rain; I think it’s amazingly beautiful and I love listening to the droplets on the windows and skylights.

At the beginning of January, I went through a program called Rapid Recovery. It’s similar to the Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) except it’s only 4 days compared to 2 weeks. For my mental health, its always nice to go through a class to get a little refresher and not let my mood get to a low point. What’s funny is that I study the brain almost on a daily basis so I generally am aware to what is happening. What I have difficulty with is knowing and accepting why I think and behave the way I do. By this, I mean what went on in my past that is affecting me?

adult blur books close up
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

By the third week of January, I had finished two books (which is pretty quick for me) and had begun another 2 books, 1 of which I’m almost finished with. The other is almost 1000 pages so it’s safe to say that it might take me a while to finish. I, also, purchased 5 or 6 more books, all of which are on human behavior. I guess you could say I’m a collector of books, but I buy them MUCH quicker than I can read them. Plus, I’m running out of shelf room….again.

In the beginning of January, I met with a new psychiatrist. She’s an interim employee while another psychiatrist is being found, so next meeting will be with another new doctor, haha. She’s retired so she definitely knew and explained much more than my previous doctor. She concluded that I’m so unbelievably tired all of the time because I was at one of the largest dosages of Zoloft. She explained that since I have been on such a high dose which hasn’t helped me, that my problem is my underlying beliefs/attitudes about myself, not strictly due to a chemical imbalance. My Zoloft dosage was lowered by 25mg, then 50mg. 25mg taper is a pain in the behind, having to cut the medication into quarters. So, on my own (which is NOT advised), I tapered down 50mg. Needless to say, I feel like I have so much more energy and I feel less like a zombie. I advise people to meet with their doctor before changing their medication dosage. While I did evaluate my mindset and current life stressors and circumstances, altering my dosage on my own was not a smart move. Luckily, I have no side effects or withdrawal symptoms from the medication difference.

During the last week of January, my Spring semester begun. I’m taking 11 units, possibly 14 units by April (an 8-week class starts in April; I might or might not take it). I’m enjoying it so far, but the work hasn’t even started yet, haha! One of my lecture classes has stadium-like seating, which is assigned. I look up where my assigned seat is and make my way down the aisles. Okay, I found my row…oh my, the stars have aligned! My assigned seat is an aisle seat! As an introvert who values personal space, this makes me ecstatic. The seats will change a couple of times during the semester, so I doubt I will get this lucky again.

people coffee meeting team
Photo by Startup Stock Photos on Pexels.com

I have made my own tentative schedule for the semester that I will try to stay on track with. Yes, I’ve scheduled my meal times, travel times, homework and study times, exercise, reading, and morning/night routines. I am much better when I have a fixed schedule, especially when it comes to school. My ultimate goals are to not drop any classes this semester and to get all A’s. This has been difficult in the past due to my stomach and esophagus issues, which disables me from sitting up for long periods of time and potentially causes me to throw up if I do not listen to my body and lie down. I’m in the midst of doing different tests to find out if doctors can relieve this nuisance.

Actually, during January, I had the barium swallow test completed. With my stomach/esophagus issues, the amount of barium that I had to drink quickly was torturing. However, no issues were found so I move on to the next more invasive testing. This issue that I struggle with is ruining my life – no exaggeration here. So I will not stop until I find a solution.

Enough about my January, how was yours?!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: